In today’s world, relationships face numerous challenges—from financial stress to work demands. Yet, there are couples who not only survive these obstacles but thrive together. According to Dr. Nicole LePera, a well-known couples therapist with a significant online following, the secret lies in specific relationship habits. Here’s what she identifies as the seven essential patterns that sustain long-term, healthy relationships.
1. Build a Strong Friendship Foundation
Couples who stay together often describe each other as best friends. Dr. LePera emphasizes that long-lasting relationships are built on companionship and shared enjoyment. “They look forward to being together at the end of each day,” she notes. The excitement of simply spending time together and participating in small daily activities as friends strengthens their bond.
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2. Tackle Challenges Side-by-Side
Every relationship has its share of difficult moments, but enduring couples don’t let hardship divide them. Instead, they grow from shared challenges. Dr. LePera highlights how overcoming hard times together deepens trust and resilience. For lasting couples, difficult phases didn’t spell the end; they were an opportunity to grow stronger.
3. Embrace Each Other’s Unique Traits
Everyone has quirks, and in thriving relationships, these are appreciated rather than judged. Whether it’s a unique habit or a specific interest, successful couples accept these differences without criticism. In fact, LePera points out that partners in strong relationships make light-hearted acknowledgments of these quirks rather than allowing them to become sources of tension.
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4. Accept and Respect Your Partner’s Identity
For those who think they can change their partner, LePera’s advice is simple: Don’t. Couples in long-lasting relationships honor each other’s individuality, respecting each other’s personality without trying to change it. “There’s a mutual respect and admiration,” she explains, which nurtures a freedom that allows both individuals to shine.
5. Learn to “Fight Right”
Disagreements are normal, but how couples handle conflict is essential. According to LePera, couples with strong relationships don’t avoid conflict but instead know how to resolve it constructively. The ability to discuss issues, find solutions, and move forward keeps them connected and resilient over the years.
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6. Have the Hard Conversations
Avoiding difficult topics can erode relationships, which is why long-term couples make it a point to communicate openly. LePera observed that resilient couples engage in tough conversations even when their views differ. They listen and respect each other’s perspectives, maintaining open communication without letting discussions escalate.
7. Set Boundaries with Family
Managing family dynamics is crucial for any couple. According to Dr. LePera, lasting relationships create boundaries with family, prioritizing the relationship itself. This might mean keeping personal matters within the relationship or avoiding decisions based solely on family preferences. Healthy boundaries allow couples to focus on what’s best for their partnership, strengthening their bond.
Strengthen Your Relationship Today
From a foundation of friendship to open communication and mutual respect, these patterns are key to a happy, healthy relationship. Try incorporating these habits to help create a lasting bond.
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